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a new timeeeeeee   
08:16pm 31/01/2006
  uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........ i think people grow up.....

like apple trees.....

in geometries.....

at this point in time there are dragons and there's scissors....

when things get low we get high....

and let's just say fucked up things come in small packages.... guhhhhh (gutteral moan)

i must admit i try to be too black sometimes.... ¿¡La honradez vale más que las crías de foca!? (::horray honesty::)

Mike is Mike.

(gaze at the horizon)

"Tell me who's your weed man, how do you smoke so good?"   
05:47pm 05/10/2004
  lol ludacris is funny... yesterday was a crazy day... and it was... money... i'm totally going to skip over homecoming cuz some shit just has to be kept private... all i know is that their were many a more adventures down at the circle b ranch... but what happens at circle b stays at circle b, until monday when we can't help but tell everyone what kind of crazy shit was going down...

the nigga adam was turning green, we didn't know what was going on, the ben police showed up, and jess had to go to the bathroom too... and that was just friday night... saturday will remain off of this lol... (what's that noise coming from the camper) and sunday was one of the best days ever... rollin' around with perry and josh in his new eclipse... we was doing some "double creepin" (that term is copyrighted lol) and rolling around like 4 fucking counties with Vin Diesel and some Flick Nazal.... crazy ass time... can you say 7th heaven? lol.... josh mickey and i rolled out to taco bell and the "park" yesterday and was a great time... wow... wow.... lol...


(6 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)

"yesterday i woke up sucking on le-mon...."   
01:09pm 25/09/2004
  Summer-Fall 04'- we all walked the scissors to pandora's box and we had us a peak inside....

When you walk the tight rope and your legs are made of scissors, sometimes you cut the thread.

"You can't run from trouble, there ain't no place that far..."

(5 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)

"lost in a roman wilderness of pain... and all of the children are insane..."   
07:00pm 01/01/2004
  you know what... live journal is really fucking stupid... i can't believe i was ever conned into getting one... it's basically a contest to see who can have the worst drama or who can have the most fun at any given time. it's such bullshit. i used to be the biggest drama whore in this thing and it like makes me sick... this thing is only for pity fiends and people who like to show off and make people jealous... so basically this is my last entry... it feels good to grow up... i think ben and i really will move to somewhere not in this god forsaken country... everyone wants to move to ny or la... but how typical is that? i don't know. i've been so weird lately. kind of realizing that as long as i'm in copley 1) my life will continue to suck 2) no one will try to help me 3)people will be lying hypocrites... i've almost considered dropping my whole style because it really is not right to try and be hardcore in copley... it's impossible to be anything in copley... the gangsters and homies aren't real homies, the hicks aren't real hicks, the "goths" and "punks" are certianly not what they call themselves, and most of all the drug addict boo hoo my family life and existence is horrible cutter drug addict wanna be kurt cobain badasses are far from that... they're just rejects who desire for attention and need it 24/7 so whenever they're not around people that feel sorry for them they can get a livejournal and meet people all around the country (and world) to feel sorry for them too... =)

"some stupid nirvana quote that changed my life..."

(4 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)

"so you see i've gotten this far... please give me some place to waste.."   
07:00pm 10/12/2003
mood: Whatever
good riddance... i leave tomorrow evening... not that anyone cares or will notice i'm gone. whatever... lately i've been breaking manson's golden rule. i've become content. not very many lows, not many highs. everything is just. ok... whatever. i'm a loser who does nothing but circulate himself around school. i don't really "hang out" with people who "understand" me or whatever. typical middle school problems... "no one understands me so i'm going to start wearing all black cuz it makes me feel more like myself..." this is all such a fucking joke.... and i have a new slogan by the way...

Mike AdairEveryone in the world hates him, but he hates them back just the same...

and there's the new stupid drama in my life... for a year, i have to sign all documents including school papers i sign "Michael Humbert Adair" so i can legally change my name... that's going to look appealing...

::sticks up middle fingers like slipknot does at their shows to look like "rebels"::

by the way, why does every obsess over kurt cobain? it seems that everyone idolizes him but doesn't really have a reason except for "he's kurt cobain..." ::shrugs:: Nirvana is good none the less...

"i don't know why i feel so tongue tyed..."

(2 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)

"and i swear i don't have a gun..."   
08:34pm 04/12/2003
mood: There
what the fuck is it with me and wiggers? three wiggers the past few days wanted to kick my ass... i got in a nice "confrontation" with some kid named keith cuz he bumped into me really hard cuz of his stupid wigger walk... other than that today was ok... lots of work to do. my step-dad problems are back again. but whatever. i have to go back to counseling. which fucking sucks... tomorrow i'm wearing a shirt i made that says "i eat cats" and on the back it says "and i hate sports..."

"jesus don't want me for a sunbeam.."

(1 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)

"and january has its april showers..."   
07:46pm 27/11/2003
mood: groggy
i have a new song for my depression... 2+2=5 by radiohead... makes me very sad...

"the lukewarm..."

(gaze at the horizon)

"i know you well you are a part of me..."   
04:08pm 27/11/2003
mood: drained
still very sick... the earache is gone but now my muscles are like rigor mortis and my throat is killing me... thanksgiving wasn't thanksgiving at all... just my mom my brother's and her bf... makes me wonder... i've never really had a family i've liked, or a stable one for that matter... but i know that isn't a very common complaint in this day and age... o well.. i had a dream about her last night... made me be in a sad mood... and i thought it was over... blarg. annie has been calling me a lot... her and i are kind of on the same plain now. she feels the hole that i do now. i have a feeling we're going to be shoulders for each other to lean on... we'll see how it goes... but none the less... it doesn't take the sting out of the memories...

"how many times, did i warn you about jumping into the back of the cars?"

(gaze at the horizon)

"just because you feel it, doesn't mean it's there..."   
04:01pm 26/11/2003
mood: Vicodin
stayed home from school today and didn't take my ap test... annie called me last night and was really sad about billy. apprently he has really fucking changed and they're probably going to break up... i feel bad... my ear hurts so fucking bad. i got the death bad... but i took some vicodin and all my problems melted away...

addicted to the potion that drowns out my sorrows
it's the new sun of my universe
everything must revolve around it
but i don't mind
as long as clouds don't darken my skies
and take my sunshine away...
a slave to the weightlessness of its gravity
its eyes are black holes
taking me under but i don't mind...
because i don't want to escape
at least in its darkness i'm safe and calm
i can sleep easily in its heavenly atmosphere
in the black valley of my God...

"we're accidents waiting to happen..."

(2 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)

"it breeds envy, you said it's time for a change..."   
06:50pm 25/11/2003
mood: sick
The Singularity
When you're out here everything seems so big
so big and yet so very far away
The distance makes the heart grow empty...
When you're out here time slows down to a stop
An eternity spent in infinity
And on wonders why there's no end in sight...
Out here in the heavens, everything
is tranquil and placid just as you wished,
you could of been all those years before...
You are in the realm of the Gods themselves,
yet you have an overwhelming feeling,
that in this utopia you really,
are nothing.... and that is all you have been...
All alone wiht everyone around you....

"SiT Down, sTAND Up... Walk into the jaws of hell..."

(1 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)

( )   
10:39pm 22/11/2003
mood: hopeful
today was great. yesterday we had fun at the play in our little crew but bethany was pissed at steve and ben so thus josh was mad at steve which meant more problems for the band... eek. not good. but today was amazing.... i bougt hail to the thief by radiohead... it isn't as good as i anticipated but still good... but band practice was sweet. josh showed up as a completely different person. his attitude was amazing. we talked for like 2 hours about fun stuff and serious stuff and were old pals again. then when we played we played great and added stuff to our songs and it's all good. hehe! so i'm in a good mood. even though i'm ugly as fuck.... i tried to dye the front of my hair black and the back pink... let's just say it's not pink it's red and brown... and ugly...

"( )"

(1 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)

"fire away, right between the eyes..."   
07:10pm 16/11/2003
mood: complacent
yo yo... had a good weekend. friday was the football game and i had a good time actually. i didn't freeze to death. kevin had gotten hit by a car. they had to call the cops and everything. kevin says he's thinking about sueing the guy who did it. wonderful controversy. so the marching band season is over, i'm kind of sad to see it go... o well. yesterday i spent the day at kevin's and then we went to the narcissus concert. he took bethany and i and we met seth josh steve and the whole crew up there. it was a good time. narcissus went on first actually which was weird and they only played like 5 songs.... o well. afterwards we went to swenson's and had a gay time. today julia, josh, abby, and sarah showed up at my house when i was very ugly looking. we talked in my driveway for awhile and joked around... then later i went driving for like 2 hours and i actually didn't hit anything... yay me...

i'm doing ok for once...

"we build up our ladders with hopes of them falling.."

(gaze at the horizon)

"you say I need you, but what about the demons in my head? i'm sure you don't miss them..."   
07:20pm 09/11/2003
mood: good
hello... it has been an interesting couple of days. friday night was the football game. surprisingly i didn't die from the freezing cold. best moments of the night were josh's huge black hickey, mickey twirling the american flag like a guard girl, and making funny of dante when he got angry by saying "uh oh you better watch out for dante's anal inferno." saturday was good too. ben came over so we could do chemistry. we layed around and played guitar and then walked to subway talking about how america is trash and how we don't want to go to college in ohio. when we got back steve came over and we filmed some interesting shots for our project. after that it was band practice and ::gasp:: josh was actually present!!! we basically finished tale of october... just two more practices to smooth it out... yay.... this morning i woke up in a rather horny mood... had a lot of dreams of girls which is really pathetic and unusal... moof... mike is just really emo it seems.... o well.....

"i pray you find, the piece you're looking for..."

(1 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)

"realization comes through reaping, reality contained in quiet..."   
08:05pm 02/11/2003
mood: working
Mike Adair:goes through hell so you don't have to

(my new slogan)

"shoot here and the world gets smaller..."

(1 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)

"don't open your eyes you won't like what you see..."   
12:11pm 02/11/2003
mood: crushed
this has been a rough couple days... the band didn't break up. we had our show on friday night, but it went kind of shaky and i got really upset because the one song i wanted to play really well for my dad (wherever he may be) we fucked up really bad... so the whole night was kind of a bummer... i went to bed feeling ok because at least marching band would do good at state so i could slave over my homework on sunday with a smile that we got a I... right? HELL NO! we traveled 3 hours on bus to columbus to do what? suck it up! hardcore! it wasn't like we got a II but were close. we were a solid two all the way... fuck! so now i'm really bummed... but whatever... i'm a nerd anyway...

"let down and hanging around..."

(gaze at the horizon)

"time to go one last look one last touch a ghost to those i love..."   
04:26pm 30/10/2003
mood: cynical
well... yeah... life fucking sucks. tomorrow is the worst day of the

year for me and coincdently it's supposed to be the most celebrated

and loved day of the year for all you "cool" boys and ghouls...

the band situation gets fucking worse every second. don't expect

"toth" or also known as "turbulence on the horizon" to be around

much longer. i'm so angry at josh i want to fucking strangle. he says

that as a band we are not going anywhere, which is fucking bullshit.

two months ago when we sucked ass we got fucking invited to play

lolla fucking palooza... most bands never even could begin to dream

about that... and we haven't even been together a year... so fuck him.

and he needs to quit taking his fucking angst at the world on me...

so basically the one thing that's been keeping me stable through this

shit, (the divorce, the move, the "break up") has been this band.

one of the only reasons i can put up with how hard and stressful

school is because i knew that on the weekend would be band practice

and that i could get away and let it out by being productive...

not to be stupid, but it looks like national "fuck mike" day again...

so whatever... tomorrow i just feel like being dead cold... i mean

like hardly talking to anyone and just being an emotional massochist.

i figured that if life and the world want to fuck me over, i could

partake in the slaughter as well...



"do you want to feel pain, taking my name vain, caring never felt so lame inside, anybody else got pride, do you want to take my life?"

(4 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)

"come back down... in the undertow..."   
03:33pm 24/10/2003
mood: moody
my life has been a bowl of shit these past two days. yesterday was cool until the afternoon. i had to ride all over the place with my brothers and i couldn't get my homework done. my mom explained to me that our van is broken so thus we can't go on the vacation we've been planning on for two years this winter and that christmas will be very shitty. i'm finally beginning to feel the effects of only having one parent. ::sigh:: also, i learned that my step-dad gave my little brothers beer... what the fuck? that's insane... then this morning i get to school feeling all depressed and shit and the whole day isn't very good. i forget to turn in this important paper didn't do so hot on a test etc. but also josh called me up and tells me i'm egotistical and make our band sound "good" when we really "suck." or whatever... fun fun fun... oh, and also the like 5 jocks and or homies that want to kick my ass...

"something in the way... yeah..."

(3 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)

"dissa...pear...dissa...pear...lighter...thinner...into the air..."   
09:04pm 21/10/2003
mood: blah
hello... today was a stress ball dipped in hardships. i had the psat today. which took forever and was really hard. and on top of that i was bombarded with homework coming out of everywhere. i was like a day behind. also i have to practice for my symphonic music test etc. moof. so much shit going on. other than that it was a bland day like always... i feel so "fitter happier ish right now..." minus the fit and minus the happy. shit! that sucks. i'm trying to think of something interesting to say. i'm going to a haunted house on saturday and everyone is invited. brittany says it has to be some huge friends thing. so yeah. we'll see how that goes. and this month is the anti-shit for me as some of you may know...... so mentally i'm not doing so good. o, and i'll give a great sexual favor to the first person who can run out and purchase me a decent pair of headphones...

"...concerned... but powerless..."

(1 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)

"sad mother... your enemies will kill your son..."   
01:12pm 19/10/2003
mood: rushed
hello... very stressed out but happy. i have a huge paper for ap euro due tomorrow and i only have one paragraph... eeps... last night was the brunswick competition. a lot of fun. we actually got 2nd which was amazing. sitting in the stands was great fun. it was me, michelle, ben, brittany, sarah, kevin, curtis, mickey, josh, and bethany... the whole crew... all snuggling to keep warm... how cute..
also, one of our assistant band directors mr. donafrio is in a really heavy metal band, and he invited us to play with his band for a whole bunch of people in december... this shall be a lot of fun...

by the way... stabat matter is the most incredible piece of music ever written... even if it is about jesus...

"...Disconnect and self destruct one woman at a time
What's your rush now, everyone will have his day to die..."

(2 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)

"i'm taking her home with me, all dressed in white..."   
11:25pm 17/10/2003
mood: quixotic
hello... my step-dad once again proved he was a total lunatic. he told my little brothers that my real father died of a crack overdose. if he would of said that to me... yeah... we're not going to get into that... in other news, a whole bunch of jocks want to kick my ass, like logan jennings. and apparently i eat cats again too. logan is dressing up as me for halloween. so me and all the crew are dressing up as either dead or gay football or soccer players... except for curtis who is going as a little black kid...

"she's got everything i need..."

(1 acts of turbulance | gaze at the horizon)